so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
