my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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