she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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