At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
