Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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