I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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