she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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