so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
please come you make the beer taste better
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
