I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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