there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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