The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
