I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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