I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
