i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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