Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
