So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
