Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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