Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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