I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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