Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
