dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
