they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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