Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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