god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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