She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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