I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize