but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize