Define "chronic" masturbator.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
