so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize