Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish life had little blips of pornography
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
