so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
