she is the kim kardashian of front butts
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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