he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize