Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
