beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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