The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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