James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
