The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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