Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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