Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
