I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize