True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
