i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
