Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
