Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize