I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
