I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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