Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
