Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
