Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
