hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
