Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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