We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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