My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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