I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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