Will you blow on my dice?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
