u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
