The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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