if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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