Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
