Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is it because I queefed?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
