Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
