At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize