Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
