idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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