a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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