I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
