Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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